society

Tweeted this June 22:

I tend to not believe in generation-ism.

Culture and tastes change, but human personalities – not so much.

Otherwise, every “generation” would need new Myers-Briggs Types, Communication Styles, Leadership Styles, “core competencies,” etc.

Don’t segregate generations: collaborate instead! 🙂

For a long time now, I’ve been trying to make my “Us” bigger – to include more people in it.

Seems to me that a lot of social ills stem from a small Us that brings an adversarial tone to interactions with the majority of people. If I can just see more people as part of my Us, it keeps the tone positive and helps me to feel at home – among “My Own” – more of the time.

And every human being has something in common with me, even if it’s just the fact that we’re human.

Where does this idea of Us and Them, of  My Own vs. outsiders, come from? It seems ubiquitous, so it’s not culture-specific. Is it a carryover from the stage of life when children differentiate themselves from their parents, but taken too far? Do our minds slip into the thought pattern of the children’s game, “One of these things is not like the others …”? Is it hyper-individualism?

I appreciate the concept of otherness, written about by many noted thinkers including C.S. Lewis. And I’m not advocating that everyone is or should be the same – uniqueness is a precious gift.

But realizing that I have a choice of who belongs in my Us – that it’s not just automatic, that it can be flexible, and that nobody else can force my choice – has really opened up the world for me. It has actually helped me to delight in uniqueness, since more and more people are part of My Own and not adversaries.

What do you think? Should everyone try to expand their Us? What would happen if we did?

Originally posted July 1, 2009 on White Tree Ideas

I don’t believe in tolerance …

I believe in respect.

After all, do you want to be “tolerated?”

Wouldn’t you rather be respected?

Tolerance doesn’t go anywhere near far enough. We need to respect other people.

And if I want you to respect me, I’ve got to respect you first – to earn your respect, because it’s worth something to me. Respect isn’t cheap.

Funny thing, though, is that most of American culture is built on disrespect: just about everything we think is funny is some form of ridicule or derision.

But here’s the silver lining: In this context, showing just the tiniest bit of respect for another person stands out like a blazing light in a darkened room. People always notice when you treat them with respect; in our culture, you can’t help but notice. It’s amazingly refreshing to the human soul.

So I encourage you to join me in going beyond tolerance – rain some respect on a thirsty soul today!

Originally posted June 20, 2009 on White Tree Ideas